Do you have these Success Disabilities?

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing on one's own sunshine. “ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson. I was talking the other day to a group of ladies who were kvetching about the economy and the problems they were having with their businesses. Times are tough, but, I left that meeting thinking about how many ways these ladies and even I get in the way of success. I was in a Beth Moore bible study last night and she was talking about spiritual learning disabilities and it made me think metaphorically about success disabilities. Do you have one or more of these success disabilities?

Success Attention Deficit Disorder- This applies to the person who can focus on a business model or marketing strategy. They get easily distracted by shiny things and don’t follow through with a strategy long enough for it to work. Can any Guru hoppers relate?

Success Hyperactivity Disorder- This is the over busy bee that is running and running and never stopping to measure if what they are doing is returning on the time and money investment. Get off that hamster wheel and be still. Read my Power of the Pause blog post. Quiet can be incredibly clarifying!

Success Dyslexia- These people get things turned around. They think that their business is about them and not about their customers. If you aren’t communicating value from your customer’s point of view, you may be suffering from this one.

Success Vision Impairment- Are you near sighted in your business? Are you only able to see things close up? You may be missing opportunities that are just beyond your driveway. Can you be serving in another city or to another type of population? Or how about far cited? Are there opportunities under your nose that you aren’t able to see? Ask others to be your glasses and give you some perspective.

Success Hearing Impairment- Are you customers trying to tell you something and you just aren’t listening? What about your industry? Are there trends that you may be missing? Ask for feedback and listen to what people have to say. Don’t be stubborn like my Aunt and not wear your hearing aid. People can tell when you aren’t listening.

I don’t know about you, but I know that I can be guilty of a few of these success disabilities. The first step in overcoming any disability is to admit that you have one. Then, take steps to overcome it. What can you do to overcome the one that is getting in your way? Don’t stand in your own sunshine!

What is the Magic Word? Not Abracadabra

When my brother Dan is not being an aerospace engineer, he is a volunteer magician. He has been doing magic since he was 14; one of his many passions. I will never forget when my daughter Leah was 3 and he was the magician at her birthday party. He turned an orange handkerchief into a goldfish right before her eyes. Unfortunately, the fish didn't make it by the next day. Leah said that turning into a fish from a handkerchief must have been too much for the poor thing. What a precious memory.

Right before the fish transformation, Dan asked the kids; "What is the magic word?" "Abracadabra?", one enthusiastic kid offered. "Open Sesame" another guessed. "No, think, you know what the magic word is", he encouraged. Finally, after a couple more misses, one of the kids squealed "PLEASE and THANK YOU". "Right!" he said, and then gave her a special toy for guessing correctly and then reminded the kids to always use the magic words.

It's important for us to use the magic words with our customers too. Please let me know how I can serve you better. Please let me know what you think of my service. Please allow me to help you with your problem. Thank you so much for being a customer. Thank you for letting me know what your real experience is of my service. Thank you so much for your referral.

We can't be great without please and thank you. Are you using these magic words enough? Who can you use them with today?

Power of Pause

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brillian. This month, I decided to ‘get off the hamster wheel’ and take a break from some of my regularly scheduled obligations so that I could pray, rest and regain some strength. Don’t you sometimes just get weary of the race sometimes? You get so busy that you don’t stop to get a little perspective on things.

I bet that it’s been nearly two years since I have given myself permission to take that kind of break. Pausing like that is like taking a broom to the attic of your brain and sweeping out all of the cobwebs. You begin to notice things that were there all along, but you were too busy to see them.

What can happen when you take a pause? Here are some possible side effects of your pause:

• Clarity of purpose for the direction that you are going.
• Something new: A new service or a new population to serve that you hadn’t thought of before.
• An opportunity for your head and your heart to get back into sync.
• Renewed strength for the journey.
• A greater appreciation and gratitude for your blessings.

Whether you find renewed strength, or a new road, taking the time to pause is like filling your gas tank when you are running on fumes.

It’s not easy to jump off a treadmill that is on top speed, but no one can run at that pace forever. Think about it, if you really were running a treadmill at top speed, you would have a heart attack if you didn’t jump off.

I’m not talking about taking a vacation where you bring your laptop and work half the time either. I’m talking about really stopping the work, stepping away completely and getting time to rest, relax and renew. Empty your head of your daily obligations. Spend your time praying, meditating, and getting a massage, napping, journaling. Get in touch with the feelings of gratitude for your family, your health, your God, your gifts and nature.

I thought that I would get a renewed strength for the journey, and I did, but I also found a new road for the journey. In the midst of the pause something totally new began to happen. A new idea had a chance to form in my head and heart. I thought I would be doing one thing, and wound up finding energy in something totally different. (Stay tuned, as I put some flesh on the bone of that idea, I’ll be sharing it with you when it’s ready to share.)

Taking a pause is a choice. Choose to pause and see what can happen for you.

Leave a Selfless Legacy

“I may be here for a short while, gone tomorrow into oblivion or until the days come to take me away. But, in whatever part you play, be remembered as part of a legacy...of sharing dreams and changing humanity for the better. It's that legacy that never dies.” Unknown.

“Makin’ memories and changin’ lives”. That’s what our fast talking, long haired white water rafting guide Doug said was his purpose in life. And, boy does he LIVE it. Our family just got back from the most amazing vacation in the West Virginia New River Gorge. We signed up for the ‘Lower New” white water rafting adventure (the one for newbies) and Doug had about 20 minutes to prepare us for what would be one of the coolest experiences that I have ever had on a vacation. He talked so fast that I could hardly process his words. But in that brief time, he told stories, gave us key safety instructions, told more cow jokes than I thought existed and had me smiling the entire time. He LOVED his job, his mission in life. He knew that he played a key role in the making of the perfect vacation for people. It was about us, the vacationers, always about us.

I started thinking about Doug and the legacy that he is leaving; the impact that he had on me whether he was aware of it or not. I realize that we all leave a legacy, good or bad, intentionally or unintentionally. We are all being observed by others and those observations lead to conclusions about us that are indelible impressions in people’s minds.

I was thinking about the most common denominator of whether a legacy would be positive or negative and my hypothesis is that selflessness leads to a positive legacy and selfishness leads to a negative legacy. Test this out as I have in my own life. Think about the people in your life that have been your heroes; the people who have left the most positive lasting impression on you. Were they selfless? My list sure was. Now, think about those people who leave a bad taste in your memory mouth. Were they selfish? Hmm hmmnn. Yep. Mine too.

When you are gone, what stories do you want people to be telling about the impact you had on their lives?

If you want to have more impact in your work, your mission in life, put others first. Serve for their benefit, not for your own. Not only will you have more success in your business and your life, but you will be making a difference in the world. You will be leaving a positive legacy. Examine your motives. Are you in business just to make money? Or do you believe that what you are doing is really helping people?

What kind of legacy are you leaving?

p.s. If you want to have a great family vacation in West Virginia, check out http://www.adventurewestvirginia.com . In addition to white water rafting, there is a zip line adventure across the river, rock climbing and rappelling, horseback riding, ATV tours, paintball and more.

Your Million Dollar Story

“You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” Irene Kassaria.

Have you ever thought about how boring life would be without challenges for which we can learn and grow? Everyone one of us has a 'million dollar story'. That is; the story that can inspire people because it shows how we came from one place and successfully moved to a new place. It is only a good story if you have risen up past it and have conquered it.

So, here is my challenge for you. Ask yourself these questions: What did you learn from some of the more horrific times of your life that can help someone else? How have you grown, changed, or improved as a result of surviving your life's challenges? How can you see yourself more as the conquering heroine and not the powerless victim?

When you find these answers, use them in your everyday language, written correspondence, and in your daily business encounters. Those are the words that you need to begin using.

Find the conquering part of you and begin to believe that part of yourself. Everything happens for a reason and everything happens to make us stronger.

Get Your Head in the Game

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. “~ Dr. Wayne Dyer . My daughter is on a travel softball team representing our town. When they started this year, they were a hodgepodge of kids. A few of these kids had never played ball at all and most of them had only played on a low level recreation league. The coach didn’t expect much, and the kids didn’t expect much. They tied their first game. They lost their second game to a team that beat them soundly with a mercy rule; and has since been undefeated.

But, then they started to win, and win, and win. They started to EXPECT to win. They would THINK of themselves as winners before they even started playing and then, they would confidently play. They had the mindset of winners. When they played the undefeated team the second time, they were a little intimidated. They played differently against them, better than the first time, but they still lost by one point. It’s so interesting to me how much of a head game it really was. When they realized that they were close to beating them, they knew that they could beat them. They still have to play that team one more time, and this time, I think they will win.

Do you expect to win or expect to lose? “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.” ~Henry Ford. So, how do you get yourself to the place where you THINK you can? Here are some suggestions:

Imagine yourself winning. Play the successful scenario out in your head. Imagine yourself confidently explaining your product or service. Anticipate objections and have the answers that overcome them ready.

Give yourself credit for your successes. If you only notice the negative, you will dwell on the negative. Practice the sandwich method. Take stock in what you did well, then look at what you could have done better, then finish with celebrating the successful aspects. This two to one ratio will begin to help shift your thinking in a positive direction.

Look confident and you will feel confident. Did you know that your body communicates a lot about your level of confidence? Your posture, facial expressions, even clothing communicate the essence of who you are constantly. I don’t know about you, but I can read those nonverbal cues even over the phone. Try having a sales conversation while you are slouching and frowning and then compare your results with an attentive and optimistic posture.

Change the conversations that you have about yourself and your abilities to that of success expectation and watch yourself begin to succeed. I love the quote from the classic 1990’s movie ‘Little Giants’ where Steve Emtman is talking to the kids; “Just remember, football is 80% mental and 40% physical.”

Get your head in the game and win!

P.S. The Head, which addresses CEO mindsets and creativity is one of the Leadership Anatomy 101 body parts. We’ll be working 8 body parts in the Leadership Anatomy Woman’s Retreat: The Body of Skills you Need to Bring your Dream to Life; November 17-21, 2010 in the Sonoma Valley of California. For more information Click http://bit.ly/IY8Cp.