"Questions are diamonds you hold in the light. Study a lifetime and you see different colors from the same jewel. The same questions, asked again, bring you just the answers you need just the minute you need them." Richard Bach. Ask great questions.
If you truly want to be a dream partner, you will ask the hard questions; the deep questions. The questions that will move someone off the dime, get them moving, help them see something in a new and challenging way. Don't just ask what is your challenge? Ask how does that challenge impact your life? How does it get in your way? What is the cost of not fixing that challenge? Be the friend that tells the truth.
Asking the right questions in the right order can move mountains. What is the right order? Think of it as an onion. The outer layer is the basic question; What is your primary frustration? The next layer is about barriers; How does that get in your way? The next layer is emotional; How does that make you feel? The next is about cost: What do you lose by not fixing that problem? And the finally, ask: What are you willing to do about it? It is important to help people feel the pain first or they won't find the motivation within themselves to change.
As a dream partner, it is your job to move your partner forward. No one changes without having the pain of the present state being worse than the fear of the future. So, if you really want to help your partner, ask the tough questions.
Asking a question is only half the battle. Listening is just as important. Just being there to hear your dream partner answer the questions is huge. Then help them see the light. Whatever you do, don't leave them sitting with the pain. Help them see what one thing that they can do to move them self forward. So the next great question is; What is one thing you can do today that helps you feel more empowered? What is one thing that can move your forward? And then encourage them to take that step.
What is the one step that you can take to move forward?