- North Royalton, OH, United States
- Everyone needs success partners to come along side and help them to achieve the dreams that they envisioned for themselves. I am the Dream Partner Catalyst because I come along side small businesses, nonprofits and faith-based organizations and leaders and help propel them toward their dream visions. I hope you find these posts encouraging!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.” Tony Robbins. We all serve in some fashion. But, have you noticed that some people serve better than others. They serve with more sincerity, with more willingness, while others seem to be serving out of some selfish motive. What a turn off. By way of analogy, let’s look at the worldviews of the dog and the cat.
Let’s look at the world through the eyes of a dog for a moment: The dog observes that the owner feeds, cares and loves him. Therefore, he presumes, the owner must be god, his master, the boss. The dog seeks to please his owner. The dog works for the owner.
Now the cat, on the other hand also notices that the owner feeds, cares and loves him. The cat concludes that HE must be god, the master and the boss. The cat wants the owner to please him. The owner, in a sense, is the staff of the cat. The cat considers that the owner is supposed to serve him, that he is entitled to this care.
Do you look at your service like a dog or a cat?
Sometimes in our desperation to get enough sales to make a living, we forget that our focus should be on serving well, not on making money. When your focus is on making money, you shift into cat mode. If you are not careful, your communication to the customers can be more about you than about them. Customers don’t like that, and they can sense when motives aren’t pure. Most likely, your customers will pass on to others that they were not pleased with your service, and you will lose money.
When your focus is on service, you jump into dog mode. Your attention shifts to the customer and their needs, and you become a people pleaser. The more you serve and seek to please, the happier your customers will be. These customers are more likely to spread the word about you and your service, which will lead to more customers for you to serve. Happy customers lead to more money.
Do you have a service that you want to provide to more and more people? Do you know that your service can really make a difference in someone’s life? Put on the lens of a dog and serve selflessly.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Believing is for achievers. Believing requires you to, as Beth Moore puts it, ‘elasticize your faith until it has stretch marks’. Believers take that leap of faith that is so scary, so challenging that it makes their heart beat hard and their palms sweat. You know you are a believer when you become a doer. “You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” Mary Manin Morrissey
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I prayed to be adopted by a guru. I even sent out a post to some of the guru’s that I had been learning from asking them to adopt me, please. I needed someone to show me what they knew and to save me from some of the growing pains. I wanted my learning to be cut short by their wisdom and experience. It took a long time to find someone to adopt me.
I did finally find the support that I needed and it really did leap frog me into a new level. Through this experience I learned something really important. The secret to leap-frogging to success is to grab onto the ankles of a mentor and hang on for dear life as they fly above, taking you to the next level.
Seek someone who has more experience and who knows more than you in your field. Get close to them, learn what they know, do what they do and then make it yours. Mike and David have helped me tremendously. I am still learning from them daily and I am grateful.
But, once you have reached a new level, it’s your turn to be a mentor for someone else. That’s what it means to be a dream partner. It’s a beautiful success circle.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Those messages from others become part of us. They go deep down into our psyche and take root as doubts and fears. It’s hard enough to keep a dream alive without this kind of discouraging messaging making it worse.
To counteract the damaging effects of negative messengers, you need to find at least one person (a whole group would be ideal) that will give you encouraging support. That’s truly at the core of what a dream partner is; someone who will see your capability, not what you have done, but what you can do, and encourage you along that path.
Here are some ground rules for supporting someone in their dream: Listen and ask clarifying questions. Resist jumping in to offer feedback before you have heard the whole story. Help them to see all angles of their situation, both opportunities and obstacles. When obstacles are identified, help them to find the solutions, rather on dwelling too much on the negative. Remind them of their gifts; help them to use their gifts at all times.
I know what you are thinking; sometimes the big dream may be out of reach. I think about all of those American Idol contestants that really can’t sing making fools of themselves on the TV. If you are a real supportive dream partner, you will always tell the truth in a loving way, but never dash a person’s dream. Help them to see a reachable way to use their gifts, talents and passions. A dream is there for a reason, so fan the flames whenever possible.
When you create a support system around you that will challenge you, and encourage you in your gifts, you will find that you will not only feel more empowered, but, even YOU will expect more of yourself.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
My father-in-law gave up on his dream because the he was too afraid to take a risk. He was afraid to have faith in himself. His dream would have required him to learn new things, take a pay cut for a while and there was no guarantee that he would have been successful. So, he stayed in his comfort zone and gave up on his dream. But, he died with that regret.
The only people who fail are the ones that either give up or don’t learn from their mistakes. Giving up insures that you won’t get to your dream. There may be no guarantee that you will achieve your dream and become successful if you try. But, there is a 100% chance that you won’t get there when you give up. Giving up is choosing failure.
You don’t have to have an ‘all or nothing’ proposition when it comes to your dream. In fact, it’s not wise to throw the old away before you have an established new. My father-in-law could have kept his day job. Then he could have taken some classes, and then apprenticed part time, then worked both jobs, then moved completely over to the new career. You can do that too.
What would it look like for you to begin to incorporate your dream into your life? Imagine yourself for a moment working toward your dream without giving up the present state. How would your day be different? How would it make you feel?
Don’t let your fear keep you from moving toward your dream. You don’t have to give up the baby with the bathwater. What small thing can you do to keep your dream alive?
Monday, November 16, 2009
When you work toward your dream, you are planting a seed. In order for that seed to bear fruit it first needs to die. When you plant the seed of your dream, certain things also need to die; your failure mindset, your doubts, your fears, and your impatience, to name a few.
In order for a plant to grow and bear fruit, the seed changes into something completely different by interacting with the soil, sun, and the rainwater. It grows healthy, slowly but steadily with the right inputs. Your dream efforts are like tending the soil, watering and giving your dream the light it needs to flourish. Your inputs are daily activities that move you toward your dream.
It would seem ridiculous for us to plant a seed in the ground and then expect the next day or even the next week to be able to eat fruit from the plant. The same is true of your dream. You are not a failure because you have not made $ 1million dollars in 3 months on the internet. The people who claim to have done that are not just exceptions, they are RARE exceptions. Here is what it takes to really make it: Work hard, serve well, solve problems, be helpful, reach out and you will be successful. It will take time and lots of inputs, but don't give up on yourself. Truly those who give up are the only failures. "Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." John Quincy Adams
What can you do to be more patient with yourself today? Take stock in your accomplishments. Create a list of what you have been able to do that is moving you toward your dream. Ask your dream partner to help you with this list, and then do the same for them. You may not have made $1 million, but who's life have you enriched? What help have you offered? How has your product or service blessed someone? If you are not already part of a support group of accountability partners, join one. They will help you stay on track.
If you are working toward your dream, you will get there. Be patient!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
When I was in school, there was so much pressure to be, act, talk and look like everyone else. I was so afraid that my uniqueness would not be accepted or loved. I did not share Noelle’s confidence in my uniqueness. Can you relate to that feeling, even today?
Your uniqueness is your power. It’s a combination of the gifts and talents, passions and values that are yours and yours alone. Learning how to harness your uniqueness is one of the true secrets of success. Encouraging others to embrace their uniqueness is an important job of the dream partner.
Ask yourselves these questions to get at your uniqueness factor: What do I offer that is special? What do people tell me that I bring to the table? What makes you most excited? Where do you get your energy? Look at both skills and talents when answering these questions. A talent is something that you are born with, and a skill is something that you learn. There is often a connection. I enjoy playing an instrument, (a skill) because it comes naturally for me, (a talent).
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
My mom was a well known and respected real estate broker and business owner a few decades back. She was really really good at selling homes. When I was fresh out of college, my job was to be a real estate trainer for her real estate agency. I didn't know the first thing about real estate so I would follow my mother around and observe her in action. She was masterful. I was able to see her quickly pick up if there was a glimmer of excitement in a buyers eye when they walked into a house, or if they had no interest. If she detected a spark, she would walk into the room and stand at the exact angle that would show the room off in its best light. Then, she would begin placing their furniture in the room. "Oh, wouldn't your grand piano look wonderful in that corner? And can you see your large family portrait over that lovely fireplace? She knew how to emotionally engage her customer in the house that she knew was their house. She was a pro.
The odd thing was, she had no idea that she was doing any of that. I pointed it out and she would giggle and say; "I guess I do do that!" When you use your gifts and talents in a way that only you can, you are in a high performing zone. You may feel like you are in a zone, but you many not know why or even what you are doing to be there.
The key is, if you know what you are doing to be in that zone, then you can put yourself in the zone more often and on purpose.
If you want to be a dream partner for someone, give them the gift of pointing out their greatness when you see it. Let them know what you are impressed with about them, how they do things in a way that no one else can. It will inspire confidence that will propel them forward. Also, when someone points out something that you do that impresses them, take it in. It's important data for you to actually know your greatness. Not just that you have talent and gifts in a certain area, but exactly what you do that demonstrates them.
Take stock in your greatness today AND inspire confidence by pointing out someone else's greatness. Here’s a step to take in that direction. Call up your closest dream partner and ask them these questions:
What do you see me bringing to the table? What have you observed that I do that is really helpful, great, or unique? What do I do that I should do more often? THEN, do the same for them!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
If you think you don't know what you want for the future, think again. Your subconscious knows more than you think. Ten minutes, a pen and a paper will act as a crystal ball for your ideal future in five years. Print these instructions do the exercise and then share your future surprises. It's fun and it works!
This is a nonstop writing exercise. The key to having this work is that you write NONSTOP for ten minutes. It is a stream of consciousness exercise that will awaken the creative right side of your brain. If you 'think' too much, it will NOT work. No one will read what you write, unless you want them too, of course. So, don't be self conscious about the letter itself.
When you are ready, put on an alarm for ten minutes. You will be writing a letter to someone that would be interested and supportive of your accomplishments. The letter will have a beginning, middle and end. Here are the steps of the exercise. You may want to print them so you can glance at them while you are doing the exercise.
Date the letter today's date. 5 years into the future. Dear.. (Whoever you want. This should be a person who knows what you are working on, but, isn't involved in it every day.)
I use this exercise in groups as well when I'm doing organizational strategic planning. People do the exercises together and then we talk about the common themes and patterns to create a common organizational vision. It works like a charm.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
"Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen." Lee Iacocca. There are actually two secrets in todays post: the first is to know what you want and the second is to work hard to get it. Successful people are very clear about what they want and day by day they work toward it. Part of knowing what you want is knowing who you are. Your dream is an extention of you. Your ideal client is a reflection of you. What would you want to do if you knew you couldn't fail? Who do you see yourself being in the future? A CEO? A small business owner? An inventor? A published author? Retired at a young age?
Remember when you were in school and got in a school project with a partner or a team. Invariably, I was the one that got stuck doing all the work. I would pray that the next time there was a partner opportunity, I could find someone who would do their part. Nothing is more frustrating than being paired with someone who doesn't pull their weight. You have to want your dream enough to really work for it. Not all of the work that it takes to make it is fun. Do it anyway. Nothing frustrates me more as an executive coach or organization development consultant than hearing someone say that they want something and then they don't work for it.
I want to partner with hard workers and so do you. If you know exactly what your gifts, talents, services and contributions can be to another person's dream and you are willing to share them, you make it easy for them to want you to come along side you as a dream partner.
Do you know what you want? Are you a hard worker?
"To reach great heights, a person needs to have great depth." (Anonomous) When someone becomes your dream partner, they choose to actively help you to acheive success. They become your informal sales force and, done properly, you become theirs. The right person's word of mouth can be just enough to take you to epidemic levels of success. If I plan to endorse you to my friends, family, colleagues and Redwood Sisters, I want to know that you are worthy of that endorsement. So, first and foremost, you better have integrity. The definition of integrity is: steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. Honesty, trustworthiness, reliability, generosity, service mindedness, helpfulness; these are some of the values that I like to see displayed in the behaviors of potential dream partners.
If you say that you will do something or be somewhere at a certain time. Do it, be there. If you promise something, deliver the highest quality promised deliverable that you can. As a dream partner catalyst, I am looking for quality over quantity. If I am going to come alongside you in your dream and have you come along side me in mine, we both need to know each of us is worth the investment. Don't tell me you are reliable, be reliable. Don't say that you have a high quality service, show me that you have a high quality service.
Two of my dream partners jump to mind as living this philosophy. I can count on Lisa and Maia to do what they promise, be there to tell me the truth, push me lovingly and always give more than I ever expect them to give. I am the same way to them and to all of my dream partners. No one will want to be your dream partner if you aren't worthy. Are you a person of integrity?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
looking back. How stiff or flexible is your leadership neck? At the turn of the 20th century, information was doubling every 20 years. Now, information is doubling every 20 days. With the advances of the internet and technology, information is coming at us at lightening speed, flexibility is one of the key needs and skills of an excellent leader.
Flexibility is demonstrated by the ability to let go of old actions, beliefs, patterns and services and move toward new ones that better meet the identified needs of your stakeholders. In Spencer Johnson Book, Who Moved My Cheese, the short story parable about mice and little people who are searching for cheese in a maze, the characters learn interesting lessons about change. One of the little people writes his learning's on the wall of the maze. Two of my favorite learning's on the wall are: Movement in a new direction leads you to new cheese. And, Old beliefs do not lead you to new cheese.
Flexibility is not just a nice skill to have, it's a survival skill. Leaders need to be open to options when problem solving or opportunity seeking to stay ahead of the curve. We will be working the issue of flexibility, the neck of a leader, in the Redwood Sisterhood's upcoming Leadership Anatomy Women's Retreat November 18-22, 2009 in the Sonoma Valley of California. Check our the retreat information HERE and also check out our Leadership Anatomy 101 Summary podcast by clicking HERE.
Monday, August 3, 2009
It is scary to be a woman leader today. It really takes courage to communicate bad news, give someone feedback that they may not want to hear or take responsibility and all the hits that come with it.
"Life is sad, believe me Missy,
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
That's where we will spend Wednesday afternoon night to Sunday morning for our Leadership Anatomy Women's Retreat November 18-22, 2009. Patty Sadallah, President and Founder of the Redwood Sisterhood (that's me) brings 28 years of experience in coaching and facilitation to this retreat. We'll be looking at body parts as metaphors for outstanding leadership while we enjoy the fellowship of amazing women, challenge our own thinking and enjoy local vineyards and beautiful surroundings.
Wednesday night, we'll get to know eachother and play a fun whole body metaphor exercise to get us rolling. Thursday we'll explore the 'Outside Leader Self' which includes the face that you present to the outside world; the eyes of a visionary, mouth as the voice of the organization and the ears that hear the trends and patterns in your field or industry. Friday we'll address the "Inside Leader self' that will address the roles and responsibilities of leading within the organization. We will cover the shoulders that bear responsibility within an organzation, the stomach or guts that have courage to lead, and the feet that walk the talk. Saturday, you will bring your personal case and challenge to the women and get feedback in an interactive peer coaching intervention. Sunday we'll close down our experience in a profound and memorable way.
Join us! REGISTER before Sept. 14, 2009!!!
Check out the location at http://www.alexandervalleylodge.com/
Friday, June 19, 2009
In the year 2025, there will be more retired baby boomers than people in the workforce. This is a statistical reality. Our parents had more children than people are having now. This demographic sign alone will affect jobs, lifestyles, and the economy. Predictably, cruise lines, drug stores, vitamin supplements and assisted living facilities will see an increase in sales. But, not all of those seniors can live in assisted living facilities, so there may be opportunities for residential elevators and escalators, in-law suite additions, or we may see hotels and motels being turned into senior living facilities. There are a variety of possibilities that will be needed to address this reality.
Our present day concern for the environment will see an increase in alternative fuels, green building, recycling and other more efficient uses of resources. Our expectation of immediate information won't lesson. So, expect faster, smarter communication devices to be making our lives more and more comfortable. What present day clues will affect you, your job, industry, market and life in general in the future?
Leaders have a responsibility to themselves and their organizations to see the future in the present. Knowing your own industry trends, as well as how national and global issues effect your organization and it's market is part of the job. Poor leaders forget this and can be blown in the wind of change and then act like it came out of nowhere.
Get in on this discussion at our next Blog Talk Radio show of Leadership Anatomy 101 in which we will discuss the Eyes of a Leader. The show is live Thursday, July 2, 2009 from 1:00PM-2:00PM. We'll talk about what do you tend to see and not see, your ideal future vision and how to make it a reality, and more about seeing the future in the present. Click the Blog Talk link in this post to set a reminder. Hope to SEE you then.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Starting or keeping a small business alive in 2009 is tough work. How successful would you and your business be if you had expert help with strategic planning, marketing and public relations, search engine optimization, social networking, financing, legal, copy writing, ...etc. You may be strong in some of these areas, but who can be an expert in every area? Most start-up business owners just don't have the cash to pay for help in all of those areas?
Since most of us can't afford all of that help, we do without; spinning our wheels, reinventing the wheel, taking one step forward and three steps back, (the metaphors can go on forever on this one). Even though we muddle through and learn something new each day, one thing is certain, we can't do it alone, and most of us can't afford to buy the help. Time banking can help!
Time Banking Assumptions
- We all have the same 24 hours in a day,
- We all have different gifts, talents and skills that we can use to help others,
- We all need some services for which we are not experts and for which we cannot afford,
- Time can be a currency in and of itself without money values attached to it.
How does Time Banking Work?
Redwood Sisterhood Exclusive Access members receive 'time dollars' for either participating in Redwood Sisterhood activities, or for sharing their expertise with others within the community. One hour of time equals one time dollar. These time dollars can be banked and spent on any service offered by any member within the nationwide community.
How is Time Banking different than Regular Bartering?
TIME is of the Essence
Time Banking is completely tax free because no money values are attached to time, and exchanges occur within the community and not between two parties. You cannot exchange time for something other than time. So, services need to be defined in time hours and not end product deliverables. For example, a strategic plan document is not the deliverable, but the consultation time to help you to get a strategic plan could be purchased with time dollars.
There is no time to lose. You can be getting and giving help within an amazing community of women now. Join the Redwood Sisterhood Today as an Exclusive Access Member and you can be saving money and getting the help that you need from experts nationwide. Click HERE for more information about the other benefits of Redwood Sisterhood community. Join before July 31, 2009 and save $100 on membership. 'Together we grow Stronger'
Thursday, June 11, 2009
How many times have you heard some old relative in your family say that God gave you two ears and one mouth, so stop talking and start listening? It's true. We are much better talkers than listeners and we don't even realize it.
Duane Wade and I kicked off our Leadership Anatomy 101 Blog Talk Radio show with Ears of a Leader last week. Yeah us. What fun. Each month we will dialogue about a new body part as a metaphor for leadership.
We chatted about 4 listening styles and preferences and what we tend to filter out. Do you tend to listen more for information related to people, actions, content or time? We also discussed how you stretch beyond your preferences and share information with others respecting all styles.
You can listen to it now by clicking on the blog talk icon on the right column. Click on the Blog Talk Radio Link above to set a reminder for our next show, Eyes of a Leader on July 2, 2009 at 1:00 EST. SEE you then.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I can remember one of our talks on the eve of my wedding day. She told me that the secret to a strong and happy marriage was to give more than you ever expected to receive. Service was the ultimate love language and if you put other people's needs ahead of your own, you will reap rewards beyond your imagination. Something wonderful happens in your heart when you give, she would say, and when you receive something from someone out of service and love, your heart wants to give back. This is the power of reciprocity. The Pay it Forward movie was about that.
She was right, and not just for marriage relationships. We live in such an entitlement culture that sometimes we forget that giving is the secret to receiving. To take money out of a bank account, you first have to deposit money. It's no different with relationships. Give in service to the relationship bank and then you can withdraw from it when you need to in the future.
The vision for the Redwood Sisterhood has always been to create a true support community, women helping other women. So, in keeping with the spirit of reciprocity, we will be starting a new 'time bank' service. It will be our national service skill swapping program. Exciting details to follow!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Negative metaphors lead to negative thoughts that lead to negative behaviors. Battle and conflict are at the core of the negative metaphor worldview. With this mindset there are winners and losers and too often, we associate ourselves with the losers.
How have you allowed the economy to affect your mindset, for example? I recently caught myself with a bad metaphor. I was sharing with a colleague my frustration with the slow nature of my business growth in these tough economic times. I told her that I feel like I am pushing my business uphill by myself and it's getting heavier. Or maybe you feel like the Dutch boy with his thumb in the dam, knowing that sticking his thumb in the dam isn't the solution, but not knowing what else to do.
Positive metaphors have the power to have you see tough times and challenges as opportunities. They are win/win scenarios that are put in your life to teach you lessons, make you stronger and better.
What if we chose to embrace a positive metaphor instead? That layoff was a gift which allows you to be an explorer on an exhibition; seeking the next exciting opportunity or discovery of how to use your gifts, talents and passions in a new way. Or maybe you see your future as a blank canvass and you can paint it fresh and new in any way you choose. Can you see how waking up with that as a metaphor would change your thoughts and your behaviors?
Now I choose to look at my business challenges as walking through a giant maze. There will be a reward when I find the right path, so, I need not be too frustrated on the journey. I may have to step back a few steps and try something new, but eventually, I will get the the reward at the end of the maze and the path will become clearer. I just need to keep my eye on that prize.
Metaphors are powerful things. They can be used to uplift and propel you forward, or they can be used to hold you back. The metaphor that you choose to control your thoughts is up to you. So make it a good one!
What is your metaphor?